28.6.08
Dear the year 2000, Hi 2000, it's Porter Tinsley. I know it's been like, forever since we've seen each other, but I just wanted to say that I went to King King last night for Incognito featuring Juan Diaz from Ibiza and I wanted to let you know that you are alive and well on the dance floor (still.)
As for me, I've been well! I'm still playing music - you were there when I started, how funny is that? Little Baby Porter cutting her teeth on vinyl trance records. Since those long summer days of playing trance in my bedroom trying to figure out how it was done I have also explored several of the many subsets of house, minimal german techno, breakbeats and downbeat.
Oh 2000, how I remember the days with you standing in line outside of The Palace (they call it Avaland now for some strange reason) waiting for Sasha and Digweed to play a 3 a.m. to 10 a.m. marathon set while all my friends dropped acid and tried to scale the side of the building by licking their palms and pretending they were Spiderman. I also remember my Jenko jeans and phat pants and all my friends spinning trance. All those parties at the Masterdome and Glass House in Pomona and Jujubeats! Who could forget Quest? Ohhhh it was good times with you, 2000. The year we spent together will always be awesome in my memories.
But the reason I'm writing is that it would appear, after last night at the King King that you haven't let go of some people, and I'm writing to ask that you please do so. You see, 2000, Juan Diaz came to King King last night and while we were enjoying a few rounds of drinks waiting to hear "Ibiza's number 1 DJ act" we were having a great time watching the awesome mix of people at the club - it was eclectic: asian, older, white, black, latin, and even some homosexuals were there (or were those German guys?) Either way, we were excited to see such an elaborate demographic (there was even a Jokton spotting) and thought that we'd dance until dawn.
The DJs prior to the main act were awesome, but then you showed up with Juan Diaz and crashed the party and all of a sudden we went from listening to some great proggy techno to .... "I need a Miracle" trance remix. It was like you totally overtook the vibe of the club and I have to say 2000, it was weird and it felt really wrong.
I mean, I guess it wouldn't be so bad since there were so many people who seemed to be having a good time, but those people were 13 years old in 2000, so how could they possibly know that they were listening to anthem west hollywood house that was popular in the year 2000? I think it's mean, 2000. You should really consider that these people deserve to hear at least what's currently popular since they drove in from Riverside and paid top dollar to go to a Hollywood club (and King King is a great Hollywood club, 2000.)
I mean, you had to laugh when I said during a break in the song "I feel like I'm at Rage in West Hollywood 8 years ago and need a light show" and the guy next to me actually stopped swaying and said, "Dude, do you have a cell phone? Those totally work for lightshows!" And he was totally serious, bless his 21 year old soul.
I guess what I'm trying to say to you 2000, is that I guess we just don't have as much in common as we used to and maybe our memories are best kept as that - memories - and not to be relived by going to see Juan Diaz from Ibiza ruin a fantastic Hollywood venue. Most people weren't happy to see you 2000, they were outside smoking and talking about EDC.
I guess maybe since Ibiza is such a magical place that it might be the place time stands still and the big Ibiza DJs still play what was only sort of popular (in Tri-Delta houses and Forever 21 stores across the country) eight years ago. I've always heard about how amazing and awesome Ibiza is, but to be honest with you, if this is what my $750 plane ticket and $200 a night beach room will buy me, then I can never see Ibiza and be totally okay with that. That goes for you too, Pacha.
Because, see, the thing is, here on the west coast, we have our own Ibiza, it's called Alma Paradiso on Catalina Island.
So, while it was amusing to see you last night 2000, I'd prefer we went our separate ways and didn't contact each other anymore. It was fun while it lasted but I've moved on and really, to be honest, we never really understood each other 2000. I needed something deeper and a little dirtier - you were a little too glossy and stripped down for me.
Anyway, see you never 2000, and tell Ibiza to stop sending the White Party 2000 soundtrack our way - it insults our intelligence and really just kills the dance floor.
Keep it classy 2000,
Porter Tinsley
3.6.08
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