31.8.05
manic0: how patheticportertinsley: it's going to get so much better, you're about to receive an email I’m bccing you on so I don’t have to rehash it.
manic0: ok
portertinsley: it's August 31st you know.
manic0: what's that? rent tomorrow?
portertinsley: i told you i'd give **** until august to figure it out. you'll see in a minute
manic0: ok
portertinsley: read that and cry for a while...wish I could but my heart feels like a stone that can breathe.
manic0: baby!@!!!! i'm so sorry
portertinsley: i'm fine
manic0: i am here with ya though… powdered milk this weekend for sure
portertinsley: read it and get back to me, i have to do some online research
portertinsley: i just told her to FUCK OFF
manic0: ok i'm going to check it
portertinsley: it's amazing. it's art.
portertinsley: “So do us both a favor and stick to what you know: your job, shopping, and your ex boyfriend.”
manic0: hahahahaha yes
portertinsley: It's my best "go fuck yourself" letter to date.
manic0: wow definitely better with age
portertinsley: why thank you!
manic0: i might borrow from that and revise my clumsy exit
portertinsley: i'm sorry, but a girl that shallow won't take in half of that letter.
manic0: hahahaha
manic0: it's so true ..ech..that was truly perfect - everything you should have said
manic0: was said eloquently (with proper spelling)
manic0: FUCK HER FUCK HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
manic0: wow
portertinsley: And proper There's and Theirs and Your's and You're – hard to make sure when you’re typing fast and yelling at your computer screen like a psycho. I'm rather proud of it. And I didn't even break anything, I said pretending I'm in PartyMonster.
manic0: at least you reclaimed your dignity with that …all of it
manic0: i think the letter itself is cathartic
portertinsley: “So the next time you want to fuck, bring some pills and come on over. We can have an amazing time together and then in the morning you can go back to being the 'real' you. Whatever the fuck that is.”
manic0: yeah that was the best part… that is the part where she cries
portertinsley: LOL.. oh but they are crocodile tears for she has no heart. she's like the tin man. i love that i ***** ******* *** ***** **** saw ***** too... i guess i'm mean, but whatever. Fuck it all. It was a ginormous waste of effort and time...i'm so lame.
manic0: i am definitely inspired by this … not just in life … but also to say everything i never did … why the fuck not…not saying it is just another way of holding out …for something that is so painfully not there
portertinsley: painfully not there.
manic0: i thought it would be better & more man to say it in person
portertinsley: true, but me saying things to **** in person doesn't work
manic0: me too
portertinsley: we end up having sex
portertinsley: LOL
portertinsley: hilary duff said it best when she said "but i'm gonna keep your jeans, and your old black hat, they look good on me, you're never gonna get them back"
portertinsley: LONG LIVE HILARY DUFF!
portertinsley: LOL
manic0: hahahahaha
manic0: seriously. EEEEW. i just read her email to you. she said 'yucky feeling'
manic0: EEEEEW
manic0: and "worse for you"
manic0: she is * ******
portertinsley: I know! that's why I was like "worse for me? lady, i've been laughing abouut this for fucking weeks!"
portertinsley: and it was so hard not to say "********* ** everyone that***** you ***** *********** you.
manic0: foul
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: every. single. one. i've. introduced. her.
portertinsley: and now i do too. or at least, wish I did, i can't care anymore. she's a beast.
manic0: sick
portertinsley: I'm just glad I know I'm not insane, because ...well, ****** not like this with me. it works with her, because ****** is honest. she's a diva (damn her) but she's honest. I want to kill her for divaing out on me last night.
portertinsley: i know. she's done. she's in the bin with audra
manic0: the trash heap
portertinsley: the beast pile
manic0: right BAH!!!
manic0: I need to make a cd 4 u
portertinsley: no more disco house
manic0: eatadick
portertinsley: i have all i need. LOL … i don't play it!!!!!!
manic0: with me comes the disco house. love it or leave it
manic0: !
portertinsley: and i love you.
manic0: awwww
portertinsley: but only when you are wearing disco house. it does not look good on me
portertinsley: gold sequins and I do not mix well. What would Jodie Foster say? Oh goodness!
manic0: oh my god porter garland. With pills!
manic0: jodie couldn't tell you - she's too busy promoting FLIGHT PLAN
manic0: what the FUCK is the world coming to???
manic0: she went from CONTACT
manic0: to FLIGHT PLAN
manic0: CONTACT
manic0: to FLIGHT PLAN
manic0: !!!!!!
portertinsley: i know!
manic0: i think i am the only person on earth who was affected by CONTACT
manic0: i was deeply moved
manic0: haha
portertinsley: i want that two hours of my life back
manic0: not that part
manic0: the whole 1st experience sequence was outrageously good
portertinsley: 1st experience sequence?
manic0: the first time it works
portertinsley: what ?
manic0: when she goes through the wormhole and comes out in that 2-star galaxy
manic0: remember
manic0: "poetry..."
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: LOL
portertinsley: “They should...have sent...a poet”
manic0: in the theater that was gorgeous hahahahaha – poehehetry
portertinsley: POE HEHE HEEHHE TRY
portertinsley: “I didn't they didn't we didn't”
portertinsley:: :”they should have sent...a poet”
portertinsley: they should have sent Nell.
manic0: HAHAHAHAHAHA
portertinsley: Chicka bay bay tay in the weeen gahhh angeh.
manic0: chodie
manic0: hahahahahahahahahaha
portertinsley: yeah, that was believeable. jodie foster alone in a cabin for 26 years and who finds her? LIAM NEESON.
manic0: she's so hot when playing an animal
portertinsley: How come when I'm home alone all that finds me is a UPS man with a cold sore on his mouth?
manic0: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
portertinsley: I'm straight from now on.
manic0: me 2
portertinsley: MS. Ron Bush made me straight.
portertinsley: Let's have Gomorrah. Our little hell child. Society’s little bastard girl.
manic0: alright get this party started
manic0: any ecstasy left?
portertinsley: LOL
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: LOL
manic0: “no, WE'RE amazing”
portertinsley: “Salad dressing makes things that are mediocre better.”
manic0: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
portertinsley: Oh man.
manic0: hahahaha
portertinsley: My heart fucking breaks to think of her saying that.
manic0: hideous...hideous the true things people say when they're fucked up
portertinsley: I know.
manic0: that they then pretend were never said
manic0: etc etc etc
portertinsley: Yes, it's true. She said that, made me come, got off me and then it was never spoken of again.
manic0: he blacked out and left in a hurry the following morning
portertinsley: LOL
portertinsley: Oh Ms. Grey! where has it all gone wrong!
manic0: we did it again Whitney.
manic0: i wish we could go back to the 80s and start all over again
manic0: me with my nose
portertinsley: and me with my crack
manic0: you with your dignity
manic0: i can sooo understand
manic0: why whitney turned to the rock
manic0: if she really fell in love with that fucking savant troll
manic0: what an evil little beast holding her captive
manic0: while he revives a smelly career of his own
portertinsley: have you seen the show? it's amazing
portertinsley: jerri's huge ass tv swallows me whole on a nightly basis
manic0: you can't look away
portertinsley: after three shots of maker's mark
manic0: like a train crash
manic0: oh god
manic0: don't go that route please
portertinsley: i need some drugs
manic0: i was thinking about snatching up a big jug of glen levitt
portertinsley: i'm amazed i'm not hungover today
portertinsley: i got wasted last night when i got back to jerri's
portertinsley: i was pretending i was tom waits
manic0: HAHAHAHAHA
portertinsley: and writing bad lyrics
manic0: we obviously are the 2005 incarnations of the 1975 tom waits
manic0: anyone would tell you this!
manic0: helloy it's just so obvious
portertinsley: i'm glad i inspired you. i wonder if she'll write back
portertinsley: fucking****** ****** ***** * in the ****** evil ***** fantasy ******fucking world.
portertinsley: what could she say? Sorry?
manic0: ech … you know she will say sorry too .. all placating
portertinsley: I know. i hate her
manic0: "i'm sooooo sorry you let yourself feel something"
manic0: "silly you, though...”
manic0: FUCKING ASSHOLES
portertinsley signed off at 5:52:14 PM.
manic0 signed off at 5:52:26 PM.
26.8.05
I'm going straight to hell.
The more I try NOT to laugh at this, the funnier it gets. In case you can't read it clearly, that credit card offer is addressed to "Palestinian Bomber."
I fucking love it. Somebody's sooooooo fired.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9069423/
22.8.05
The gnome transcipts volume V:manic0: and....stood up! please please kill him
portertinsley: oh fuck him! i'll kill him
manic0: oh tin tin... i think that he put a root on me
portertinsley: root?
manic0: he put a root on me!
portertinsley: what does that mean?
manic0: why would i still care about him unless i'm under a magic jamaican spell?
portertinsley: oh lol
manic0: he tied my hairs around a sacred root i hate him!
portertinsley: wow... hahahaha
portertinsley: **** *** ***** ******** *** **** the other day and had to leave at 730 to go to a biz meeting, and she goes "i need another three hours with you" Which I've never heard this woman say anything like this in my life! I almost fell over in shock.... So you and I have flipped once again. Now **** is calling me and wants to see me and *** is ignorning you. Again. They should meet and have their own babies.
manic0: !!!! holy shit! Wow !
portertinsley: ***** remains the constant: she's level and steady
manic0: and FUCKING HOT
portertinsley: well, yes, that too. she is hot. I think I might be in love with
both of them.
manic0: ruh roh!
portertinsley: h aha...they should meet and make out.
manic0: well have your cake, chow down. eventually one of them will step it up
portertinsley: I am having my cake and I'm eating it, vomiting, eating more, vomiting, eating more and vomiting so I can eat more. I fucking deserve this cake, dammit.
manic0: OR you'll meet a real live lesbian hahahahahahaha
manic0: vomiting
portertinsley: purging and replenishing. I am Loves bulimic slave.
manic0: haghahah bah bahb bahb ah
portertinsley: lol
portertinsley: So...no call, no excuse, nothing? Fuck, even **** called "just to check in" the other day. WTF??? She goes two months without a word and all of a sudden I’m ***** ********* **** and she calls to “check in?” Did I tell you about our night in San Diego???? I made some comment that she’ll be with me until her knight in shining armor comes along and she goes “aren’t you my knight in shining armor? And I said "no, because I don’t match your handbag."
manic0: HAAHAHAHAHA
manic0: i fucking love you
portertinsley: I asked her what was different between being with a guy and being with me other than the obvious. she goes "nothing. it's the same, except for the physical"
portertinsley: I said "wow...so, you're like, totally in love with me?"
manic0: And?
portertinsley: she goes "wow, you're like totally conceded!"
manic0: hahahahaha
manic0: 2 points HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ROFL
manic0: HAhAHAHAHA
manic0: dirrrrrrty drrrrty girl
portertinsley: serrrrrrsly
manic0: i'm gonna just move in with a bald tranny and call it quits
porter tinsley: lol - me too!
manic0: i am in love with her
manic0: it's dangerous
manic0: haha
portertinsley: serrrrrsly
manic0: she is a modern day marilyn
portertinsley: i love her too. Not in that way, although that way is nice as well.
manic0: you & your beauties. you're like hugh hefner
portertinsley: i went over there the other week and she was crying over *** ***** ****** (the show)
manic0: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
portertinsley: it's her birthday this week
manic0: nice!
portertinsley: while she's at *********
manic0: let's make her something
portertinsley: so i bought her season one on dvd
manic0: CUTE
manic0: you are the cutest gay girlfriend a straight girl could have
portertinsley: the card said "happy birthday fuckface!"
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: and she laughed and punched me in the arm and goes "awww...i love you too. i know how that goes...*punch* *head bowed*"
manic0: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
manic0: she probably gives guys less than that
manic0: !
manic0: wait
manic0: she said all that
manic0: "i know how that goes" bit?
portertinsley: yeah
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: 'cuz i was being all "here, uh, dude" about her present
portertinsley: like, "here man *arm slap* happy birthday"
manic0: hahaha
portertinsley: she's so cute
portertinsley: I really am surrounded by the cutest women ever. I love it.
manic0: just adopt real fast and buy her a house in the hills
manic0: before she knows what happened
manic0: do it
portertinsley: LOL
portertinsley: which one?
manic0: ****** *** ******
portertinsley: yes
manic0: for sure wins
portertinsley: my pick too
manic0: haha
manic0: who is this...this ******?
portertinsley: lol
portertinsley: I only know what I read on the bathroom walls
manic0: ooooooooooooooooooo
manic0: nice
manic0: !
manic0: ouch
portertinsley: LOL
manic0: zoinx
GW's road map to peace in the middle east:
Click to enlarge.
Click to enlarge.15.8.05
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT CAME TO SPUNDAE! The place was packed, great music everywhere and a wonderfully eclectic group of people groovin' to the bangin'est, funkiest, most badass-iest tunes in Southern California. I had a blast, and I hope you did too. We look forward to doin' it again soo, but until then, get ready to rock at Popstars and Rockstars this Friday night at the Blue Bongo! Details under Events. FREE, because that's how I roll. Just like Ron Bush, the most genuine nigga of all time. Here are some pics.
Here's the happiest girl in the world=>
The funniest part of the night was when my
friend walks up to me and goes, "Dude,
Everyone is outside wondering how come
Porter didn't play tonight!" Okay, so I look
slightly different with vinyl-stuck-to-my-ass
pants and foofy hair. So what?
How cute are we? I'm either fighting with Wolfie over who gets to throw down the next record, or we're congratulating each other on how cool we must look at that very moment. DJs are so funny that way, we're all "WOOOHOOO!" right in your face, and the second we turn around to grab records out of our bags we lean in and say "The left monitor is a little low, be careful mixing in bass-heavy tracks and be sure to crank your mids during long breaks because your levels will drop too much if you don't." Then we turn around and smile and start jumping up and down again in front of the crowd.
Here's Wolfie scaring the shit out of little raver girls with his big ol'.....stilts. He's trying on his new playa outfit, where he's the god of everything debautcherous or ...something. He's pretty damn good on those things, I'm surprised he didn't eat shit on the dance floor or walking through the club. Pretty impressive actually. Now, if he could have SPUN RECORDS while in
that outfit, I'd have been impressed evenmore.
Here's the club as DJ
KEOKI took
the stage. Pretty Freakin cool.
Then there was Jerri. Or Super Jerri as I was
calling her that night. How insanely hot is THIS
chick?
More pics coming soon as I can find them and steal them online. Thanks again to everyone that came out to make it one hell of a succesful evening.
12.8.05
So I go out Wed night to the Vanguard in Hollywood. DJ Keoki was playing the Wednesday night ramp up to our little Spundae Soiree "Party Monster" there. Now, I have been to the Vanguard once before, back when it was Qtopia (the dumbest name ever.) I had a very boring experience with a certain acid mushroom jazz dj from the bay area and it was like the party never really ever got going that night. We left at 3am and went to the MaGik House and laid on the trampoline until 11am and made fun of ex-lovers and the like. William "Guardian" Barker and I made the most of our evening that night, but it was a total let down.I thought maybe it was the lack of energy in the place, or perhaps it was the DJ. I'm not sure. Maybe we just needed better prescription drugs.So on Wednesday night when a friend of mine asked if I would like to accompany him to PartyMonster @ The Vanguard, I figured, "Sure!" I thought it would be interesting to see what they've done to spruce up the place and whether or not it was still as jacked as it was way back when. Plus, I love the idea of "Party Monster" making a round in the clubs across America because for me it's a new scene, and the Party Monster people are as dedicated to dressing up to go out, if not more so, than the burners. I mean, these people really spend a large amount of detail on their outfits...it's really quite stunning. You'll see what I mean at Spundae tomorrow night.
So we get to the Vanguard, and I think we're the only ones 1) over 21, and 2) not dressed up. Sweet! I love the kids, and they looked fab. I felt a little awkward however. So, the first problem was the line outside. It stretched around the block, and there was only ONE ticket sales door. No VIP (I don't go anywhere unless I get special treatment), No media line, No Guest List Line, it was all...one...line. Wow.
So, because this is how we roll, my buddy walks right up front and says "I'm so and so with so and so" and boom: two bracelets, no questions asked. Sweet! So we walk to the gate and get searched and go inside. Now, if inside is any indication to what tomorrow night is going to be like: this is RAD. Everyone has a mohawk, and their mohawk are all either pink, yellow or green. They all have facial piercings and are all tall exotic models. And if they are not tall and exotic, they are short exotics wearing huge fucking platforms, which makes them exotic. Like an exotic saltwater fish tank without the smell.
Aside from the fact that there was a sandbox/playpen type of area for the adults and the alcohol bar, and aside from the fact that the band was so bad that they went full circle from "the biggest trainwreck I'd ever seen" to "completely extraordinary because it's so bad it's so good," and aside from the fact that the VIP lounge didn't have a bar (but it WAS a very young crowd) the night and vibe was cool. Here's where it starts to get really good.
Now, when we throw events, we try to make sure that our security is nice, patient, professional and courteous to our patrons. What fun is it going to a party when the vibe sucks right off the bat at the door? (That said, many of you know that I am horrible at working the door and thus, I pay for someone else to do it the right way.) I can understand no ins and outs. what I can't understand is the lack of media and vip service in the line. I also can't understand why there was only one line.
We got a phone call and had to go outside to deal with the media/VIP issue, and we told security as we walked out that that's what we were doing: and I would think that denoted that we flaunted some sort of importance or at least, figured that would buy us some face time with security to explain why we had to leave and talk our way back in. If I can talk my way BACK onto a Mexicana airplane after getting kicked off prior to take off and OUT of being arrested on felony charges, I could get us back into the flippin' VANGUARD.
Then we tried to get back in. Stonewalled by Joe Security. Not happening. "I told you, no ins and outs." End of story, talk to the hand, cuz this security don't understand. Wow. I tried to explain our situation. Nope. He was like the restaurant host in Ferris Bueller. Little did he know, I was with the sausage king of Chicago.
It turned into a war of ego. Joe Security, master of his walkie talkie and little security cart vs. Joe Clubber, and Josephine DJ, masters of schmoozing. I could have gone home. It was late, I to be up early the next day, I had already seen the scene, I could have gone home easily. But then Juicy J, the producer, came outside and started to greet us. Joe Security pulled him aside and whispered something in his ear. I don't know what he told Juicy J, but J said we couldn't get back in. Score one for Joe Security!
Now I had to get in. Just to prove that I could, dammit. Joe security looked at me and said point blank: "There is no way you are getting back inside." A little taken aback (what had i done to possibly offend him?) I shrugged and said, "Cool, but if it's alright with you, I'd like to wait just a minute longer to see if you have a change of heart." I slapped in on his big shoulder as a gesture of good humor. He didn't smile. He squinted. I smiled a big toothy smile. Then, the ice set in between us and my smile faded quickly. I was all of a sudden determined not to lose. Droves of club kids circa 1982 swept past us into the club. We waited quietly. Determined. We would not waiver, we would not falter. More kids entered. But not us. We were ...the punished.
When you roll with the sausage king of Chicago, good things happen. It took less than 10 minutes for the PROMOTER of the event to come rushing out the door. Security turned around and tried to stop him and the promoter just waved his plump little Jewish little hand in his face and brushed past him and said "No no no, these two get in NOW." Joe Security protested, but Joe Promoter always wins. "Who do you work for? No no no - listen to me, these two are in, that's it." The red velvet rope was lifted and we stepped across the forbidden threshold. We were the chosen. As we were wristbanded once again, and Joe Security stepped aside to let us through the door, we shrugged and said "NOW we can leave."
And we locked arms, exited past security and skipped away into the night. VIVA LA SAUSAGE KING OF CHICAGO!
8.8.05
For those of you visiting my site from Groovetickets.com - welcome!Please note that the front cover photo was taken by the luscious PIXIE from Pixievisionproductions.com
Please take a moment to visit her site - she's amazing and never fails to make me look good (which is often hard to do!!!)
:)
5.8.05
Holy shit.
Laura Bush is actually The Joker....
!!!
Earlier Rumors
